The Ultimate Question: What is more Painful, Child-Birth or a Kick in the Nuts?

Kick in the balls

For as long as humans have been on the top of the evolutionary food chain there have been debates over who is stronger, who is smarter, who is faster, and who can take more pain. In this Paulk’s Pub Post I am going to open the discussion on one of the oldest debates in history, “What is more painful, Child-Birth or a Kick in the nuts?”.

This debate is something of a paradox because the miracle of child-birth can only be experienced by women and the agony of being kicked in the balls can only be experienced by a man. So how can it be resolved, Which one is more painful?

I am not going to try to sway your opinion one way or another because women will always say that child-birth is more painful and men will always say that getting kicked in the nuts is more painful. Rather, I am going to tell you a story that was passed to me and I would like you to consider the logic of this story when formulating your answer to the ultimate question of what is more painful, child-birth or a kick in the nuts?

The story goes like this:

Ted, a retired man, finished mowing his yard the other day and after doing so he decided to sit down and have a cold beer. The weather was beautiful, his yard looked outstanding, and as he drank his cold beer he began to slip into some deep thoughts about life.

Ted’s wife walked by and noticed he was in some deep thought and she asked him “What are you doing?” to which ted responded “Nothing”. He responded with “Nothing” instead of saying “I’m just thinking” because he didn’t want to answer the question that inevitably follows “What are you thinking about?” Ted didn’t want to explain to his wife that men are deep thinkers about various topics because he would likely spend the remainder of his afternoon answering questions rather than relaxing in deep thought, enjoying his cold beer.

Ted pondered the age-old question, Is giving birth more painful than getting kicked in the nuts? After another cold beer, and some deductive thinking, Ted came up with an answer to the question. Ted realized that getting kicked in the nuts is way more painful than giving birth, and although he couldn’t really prove it, he developed a conclusion that was pretty convincing.

Ted concluded that a year or so after giving birth, a woman will often say “It might be nice to have another child.” On the other hand, you never hear men say “You know, I think I would like another kick in the nuts.”

As I said before the question is a paradox, something which people can debate but no one can prove. That said, it is difficult to ignore the logic of Ted’s conclusion.

I hope you have enjoyed reading this, I know I have certainly had a laugh writing it!

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