For as long as I can remember I have heard comments such as “Guys Never…” or “Girls always…” come up in social conversations, usually after consuming a few drinks. Well, after giving it some thought, and a have a few drinks of my own, I thought it would be a good idea to do a series on Rules.
Today I will cover 15 things that will help the world understand how and why men act the way they do. These Man Rules are from the point of view of the Man.
MAN RULES – From the Man’s Perspective:
- Men are not Mind Readers. Ask for what you want. Let’s be clear, Subtle hints don’t work, Strong hints don’t work, and Obvious hints don’t work. Just tell us what you want.
- Learn to work the toilet seat. Men need it up, Women need it down. You don’t hear Men complaining when Women leave it down.
- Yes or No are perfectly acceptable answers to nearly every question.
- Come to Men with a problem only if you want help solving it. That is what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
- Anything a Man said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In-fact all comments become null and void after 7 days.
- If you think you are fat, you probably are. Don’t ask a Man if you are fat. This is a trap and we know it.
- Men mean what they say. However, if something can be interpreted two different ways, and one of those ways makes you sad or angry, We meant the other one.
- Ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done, not both. We have our own way of doing things, so if you already know the best way to do something and how you want it done, do it yourself.
- Whenever possible, Please hold comments or questions until the commercial break.
- Men see in only 16 colors, similar to the Microsoft Windows default settings. Peach is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what Mauve is.
- If a Man asks what is wrong and you say “nothing”, We will act like nothing is wrong. We know you are lying, but it just isn’t worth the hassle.
- Don’t ask Men questions that you do not want the answer to. If you do this, expect an answer you do not want to hear.
- When we need to, or want to go somewhere, absolutely anything you would like to wear is fine. Really, it is fine.
- Don’t ask Men what we are thinking about unless you actually want to know. If you are not prepared to discuss topics like sports and cars save your breath.
- Men don’t need to work-out. We are in shape. Round is a shape!
Thank you for taking the time to look through these Man Rules from the Man’s perspective. I hope they gave you some laughs. If they didn’t, please go to your refrigerator, open it, and grab a nice cold Guinness to get in the right state of mind before reading through them again. Please subscribe to this blog so you can catch the next installment where we cover the Woman Rules from a Woman’s perspective!
Until then, Goodbye, Good Evening, and Goodnight!